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작성자 이수진 작성일17-09-19 20:55 조회703회 댓글3건

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힘들어서 더 그리운 사람

 

김승환(혜림원생활지원팀)

    

e6ac44cca9f90bbc3cb54caa7211b596_1505822

 

싸우며 정든다는 말이 있듯, 나를 어렵게 했던 사람이 더 오래 기억에 남는다고 합니다.

힘든데 어떻게 그리울 수 있을까싶었던 제게도 그런 사람이 생겼습니다.

혜림원에서 지내며 집에 가는 것이 유일한 낙이었고, 항상 집에 가는 날을 달력에 체크하고 손꼽아 기다리셨던 그 분은 지난 7, 체형교정을 위해 집에 가셨고 6개월 정도의 집중치료를 받는다고 합니다. 그렇게 벌써 두 달이 지났습니다.

그 분도 저를 힘든 녀석이라고 생각하시는지 종종 제게 전화를 하곤 하십니다. 함께 지냈던 동료들의 안부를 묻고, 때로는 혜림원에 오고 싶다는 말로 저를 깜짝 놀라게 하기도 하시지만, 잊지 않고 전화를 해 주시는 것이 감사하기도 합니다.

우리는 왜 서로를 어렵게 하는 사이가 되었을까요.

그것은 아마도 신뢰를 쌓는 과정에서 오고간 많은 언쟁들, 옳고 그름을 이야기하며 때로 감정으로 치닫는 대화들, 답답함에 어머니께 연락을 하여 누가 맞는지 확인받던 시간들, 바닷가에서 함께 걸어오며 나눈 마음들이 2년이 넘는 시간 동안 쌓여 우리의 삶이되었기 때문이 아닐까 생각해봅니다.

그래서인지 지금, 그 분이 참 많이 보고 싶습니다. 물론 그 분이 혜림원으로 돌아오면 또다시 버겁게 느낄지 모르겠습니다. 하지만 이게 우리가 살아가는 모습이 아닐까요. 단풍이 물들 듯 그렇게 자연스럽게, 서로에게 물드는 것.

 

힘들었기에 더 그리운 일섭씨.

치료 잘 받으시고, 건강한 모습으로 혜림원에서 다시 만나길 기다리겠습니다.

 

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